I had a super rough Thursday. After my weigh-in, I tried to stay positive: I repeated positive thoughts in my head, I was productive at work. The day just wasn't getting better. I went running, pushed myself, and ran at a pace I should've been excited about. The endorphins just weren't giving me that, "I feel so good I want to hug everyone" high that I normally feel after a run. Then, I went to a yogilates class. The instructor informed us that the practice that night was to focus on connecting with ourselves and accepting any and all positive and negative emotions we were experiencing.
Wait, what? Accept negative emotions? WHOA.
So, I accepted them. I accepted my frustration, disappointment, and failure right there on my yoga mat. As I breathed, stretched, and strengthened, I constantly felt on the verge of tears. I realized at some point that just because I was meeting my negative emotions head on didn't mean I was letting them pollute my practice or drag me down. I was simply exploring why I felt the way I did. And, while I was doing some emotional exploring, I was physically challenging myself. I feel like I'm beginning to really discover yoga; for me, it means the union of my physical, emotional, and mental self. Anyway...
When I left the studio, I felt wiped out. The work that can happen on a yoga mat is surprising. Did I have the "I can fly" endorphin rush? Again, no. But I knew I was feeling better. So better, in fact, I had a lapse in judgment and decided to go grocery shopping at 9:30 that night. The store was crazy, but I made an incredible discovery:
Quaker Oats Chocolate Chip Oatmeal . . . Only 3 Points!!
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| After a 4-mile run and an awesome yoga session. |
Let me explain: I crave sweets. I will never cut sugar out of my diet because I love chocolate. Lately, I've been feeling deprived (last week my deprivation led to a 3 Musketeers episode that I don't want to relive). I know that WW promotes a healthy lifestyle and is in no way a diet, but I've been struggling with balancing a high-activity lifestyle (training for my half marathon) and eating enough of the right foods to lose weight. It's discouraging. I run over 20 miles a week, incorporate cycling and yoga, and gain weight? Ugh. I called my all-knowing sister, and she suggested that I need to incorporate strength training. I know she's right. Before my 1/2 marathon training got intense, I was lifting weights, and I was losing more consistently. Again, I know she's right, but still--I am active, and I'm starting to feel off balance.
Enter chocolate for breakfast. At only 3 points (I'm in disbelief), I am giving my soul and my body what it needs: (the physical) heart-healthy nutrients, and (the emotional) heart-healthy flavor. Talk about an endorphin rush in the morning: chocolate oatmeal is amazing. It's the perfect post-workout meal.
I'm just now understanding that a journey is never really over--especially one that involves the reconstruction of the body; the process of losing weight is just that--a process that involves constant self-evaluation, the struggle of self-acceptance, and the joys of all levels of success. I'll continue to embrace any and all emotions that this journey awakens within me because, so far, I've been incredibly blessed and transformed.
