Hello, my name is Katie, and I am addicted to pizza.

I love pizza. I know, I know; everyone loves pizza. It's become a staple in America's diet. People love pizza.

I don't simply love pizza, though. I enjoy it; I cherish it; I crave it; I covet it; I want it all the time, for every meal. I'm not exaggerating. I have a relationship with pizza. When I don't see it for a while, I miss it. When we meet again, I'm overcome with joy. I feel like there are no words to describe my love affair with pizza.

First of all, there's no pizza without dough. White, wheat, thin, thick: I'll eat it all, though a light, puffy, chewy dough is the best (unless we're talking my mom's pizza dough recipe--it's thin, but still chewy). Just the image of pizza dough makes my brain cells dance for joy. I've never been one of those pizza eaters who leaves the crust after the sauce and cheese has been devoured. I'm aware of the calories saved if the crust is left behind, but forget it. I leave no pizza crumbs behind.

Think about it; the key ingredients are individually delicious. For me, I prefer red sauce on my pie. The red sauce is made from tomatoes, one of my favorite veggies. The sweet tartness of tomato sauce makes my taste buds jump for joy. And the color--a rich red that screams celebration. Tomato sauce is a staple in my diet; almost all of my key dinners include tomato sauce, and if recipes don't call for sauce, you can bet there's a tomato hanging out somewhere. The best place for tomatoes and tomato sauce to be chillin' is on top of pizza dough.

A pizza isn't a pizza without cheese. Mozzarella, Parmesan, Provolone: cheese. If baked properly, it browns in a few areas; it stretches; it melts; it becomes one with the sauce and the dough. Cheese on pizza is like hot fudge on ice cream and a warm blanket on a cold night. It completes the heavenly union of the dough and sauce. A pizza without cheese would be like Elvis Presley without his signature leg jiggle--it wouldn't be as intoxicating.

I. Love. Pizza.

I'm also trying to lose weight. My love of pizza pie fused with my desire for a healthy, flab-free life creates some tension. I can say "no" to most foods: chocolate, ice cream, cookies, cakes, alcohol--I am able to refuse these temptations like children refuse bedtimes.

Pizza, however, is trouble. I truly believe in not depriving myself. Because I want pizza constantly, I allow myself a Lean Cuisine pizza once a week, or I'll make one out of an English Muffin (my sister turned me onto this, and it works). Last night, dinner for me was polenta with roasted veggies (tomatoes, red peppers, portobellos). My husband threw a DiGiorno's pizza in the oven. Cruel? No. I know that I have to become strong around pizza, so I don't discourage him when he wants one. Besides, I had a delicious meal cooking. And then--

I found myself salivating, wanting the smallest bite of cheese, sauce, and dough. I sat down with my Weight-Watchers-approved meal of polenta and veggies, but my fingers inadvertently moved toward my husband's plate of hot, aromatic pizza. I almost gave in. I almost cut a piece in half.

I didn't. I didn't eat pizza last night. I looked at it, longed for it, and fought against the pull it has on my mind and emotions. I'm proud of myself. I'll forever stand by the moderation tip--everything in moderation and no deprivation leads to healthy eating habits. I'll have pizza this week, guaranteed. But my relationship with pizza is a dangerous, unhealthy one. It's like a drug; it's my drug, and drugs aren't good for diets. I have to learn to say no to pizza sometimes. And I am. But I'll never break up with it. Ever.

Vampire Stories Inspired Change in My Life

    When I jog, which is more like a shuffle, I make sure to always listen to Jace Everett's "Bad Things." For those of you who don't know it, it's the theme song for HBO's True Blood. Furthermore, if you're in the dark about True Blood, it's a series based on Charlene Harris's Sookie Stackhouse novels. One last bit of information: the series is about a southern gal's interactions and relationships with vampires. Yes. Vampires. As I type the word, I still cannot believe it myself. I'm obsessed with a storyline about vampires. Though you don't know much about me just yet, I hope you're confused about the link between the vampire story, the song, and why I listen to it when I work out.
     You see, I'm a wanna-be-runner. I've always wanted to be one; I've run a few 5ks and a 10k, but I've never committed. Because, after all, jogging is really difficult for overweight people. And I am. By medical standards, I am obese. I've known it for a long time, and I am aware of my overweight self. So why have I stuck to running for the past month, consistently? What inspired me and continues to do so? Why did I join Weight Watchers? Why have I lost 10.4 pounds since January 6th? Many reasons: I want to be healthy; I want to be happy; I want clothes shopping to be easier; I want to feel more comfortable in my marriage; I want to like myself; I want to be fit; I want to wear tank tops when it's hot outside, and I want to enjoy the beauty of the beach without worrying about my numerous fat rolls. Oh, one more reason: just in case I ever run into Alexander Skarsgard--aka Vampire Eric Northman--I want to be ready.
     Who? Eric Northman is the very desirable vampire in Harris's Sookie Stackhouse novels, and Alexander Skarsgard plays Eric in True Blood. Seriously, take a minute and look him up if you're clueless. The thing is, I watched the show before I read the (ten, so far) novels, and I wasn't consumed with the character until I read the books. I know it seems like I've digressed in my connections, but there is one. Thanks to Harris and the world she creates, I am finally able to imagine myself a healthy 80 pounds lighter. Sookie Stackhouse, the main character, becomes involved with two vampires--Bill and Eric. I'm not sure what it is about Sookie, but in her character, I find strength and confidence. I want that. Of course, I've always envied strength and confidence in my friends, but never enough to finally commit, to finally care enough about myself to exercise regularly and really watch what I eat. Sookie is happy with herself, and that's what I want for myself. It may be selfish, but I've realized I need to take time to become content as an individual before I can fully embrace life and create my own adventures (the kind without the appearance of Swedish Vampires).
     Deep down, I know I'll never happen upon Alexander Skarsgard on my way to, well, anywhere, but I'm going to keep jogging to "Bad Things" because it reminds me of the beauty and adventure that exists, a beauty and adventure I don't want to miss any longer because I'm overweight. I can change my weight. I will change my weight. I am changing my life. Thanks, Charlene Harris.